Sweetness may Fade

Have you ever thought of your parents’ lives before they had you? Before they got married? Before they lived together? They could have been really sweet back then; maybe much sweeter than you are with your boyfriend right now. Maybe they just lay down, watched and pointed at the stars, whispered sweet nothings to each other. Just maybe. Now, they’re just chill with each other: watch TV together, eat dinner together, and spend the rest of the day together without a single “I love you” or compliments they used to say to each other before.

When I first met my boyfriend, he really tried his best to win my heart. He’d give me some of my favorite dried mangoes. He’d visit my station with his best smile plastered into his face. He’d give me notes, saying “I hope it made your day! ^_^” stickied into my fave food. Now that we live in together and share our expenses, I would ask and beg him to buy me some dried mangoes. He still visits my station whenever it’s his break, but at times, he’ll visit with a sad face or an angry one because of a small fight or some misunderstanding. And then, I’d be the one demanding him notes and since we have the same schedule, he doesn’t have the time to write notes since those notes were for surprises, and he doesn’t like writing them with me watching. :/

There are some things that we seldom do nowadays. We don’t go on dates that much anymore. We don’t eat out that much (unless we’re using some useful coupons). We don’t go much to parks, too. We used to do those things when we didn’t have money for dates. Now, on the weekends, we just stay home, too lazy to go out.

Still, there are a lot of things that we can do now that we couldn’t do before. We couldn’t spend the whole day together before but now that we live with each other, we can. We can do things together: binge-watching, playing computer games, cuddling ’till morning. He still does sweet things from time to time, and I also give him notes sometimes. But now, maybe the most romantic thing we can do for each other is to give one another a back massage.

This is just what happens when you’re too comfortable with your partner as time goes by. The butterflies in your stomach may just fade away. Sweetness may fade away. But of course, that’s the challenge here. You have to make the two of you work!

So even though we seldom do the things we do before, we’re still keeping each other interested; keep the flames of love alive. Maybe in the future, we’re not going to be as sweet as we are right now, but that would just mean that we’re mature, growing and in a stronger relationship than before.

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My Sleeping Boyfriend

A poem about my thoughts as I watch my beloved sleep. This time, I tried doing it free-verse.

Opening my eyes
I see this man
sleeping by my side
breathing softly
sometimes snoring
his hair, long yet silky
tangles with my fingers
haircut is a must
he’s handsome nonetheless
I like thinking of
his lovely traits
while watching him sleep

He’s bigger yet gentler
and smart but childish
a man charming enough to
sweep me off my feet
He’s, at times, too fragile
I’d hold him lovingly
babying him
as he did towards me

This could be the perfect love
the one you never want to
get away
you clutch at it
never letting go
but promises may break
the butterflies in your stomach
may fly away
but you still hold on
and clutch
and hug
and chase
because you know to yourself
it takes effort
for love to survive

Dark times may befall us
and he could be as icy
as Antartica
that might possibly freeze
the core of the earth
I’d still hold him lovingly
even if the ice stings my heart
to warm him with love
to melt the ice
reminding him
how gentle he was
how charming he was
and then love would prevail

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10 Habits You Didn’t Realize Are Actually Dangerous for Your Health- Julian Cymbalista-Clapp — juantetcts

Just reblogging this because it’s so helpful for those who want a healthier life. Also, I don’t want to lose this post. 🙂

 

 

It’s not too late to reverse your worst habits (stopping smoking, drinking, over-eating, and more) and immediately start living a happier, healthier life. Snacking non-stop, even when you’re not hungry istock/Gewitterkind Why It’s Dangerous: Losing touch with your body’s natural hunger and satisfaction signals can lead to chronic overeating and unhealthy extra pounds that can […]

via 10 Habits You Didn’t Realize Are Actually Dangerous for Your Health- Julian Cymbalista-Clapp — juantetcts

A poem about my hobbies

Giving poem writing a shot, but I’m not so good at it. I’m still on a six-year-old level. 😀 Here’s a crappy poem about the hobbies I’d like to do.

 

I’m just another one like you

probably with a desire or two

to earn just enough gold and rubies 

not worrying about life

leisurely doing my hobbies

 

I’ll maybe sketch and draw and paint

or put makeup on with a lip stain

and somehow write on my diary

so I can use the unused stationery 

 

I have so many stories unwritten for the world to read

Visual novels I could work on day and night ’till I bleed

Playing DotA games, skipping meals, skipping sleep

Can’t be saved from an addiction so deep

 

or looking further into the future

desiring to have my own home

with newly bought furniture

I’d like to be somebody’s someday’s wife

wishing to have a daughter in our life

 

too many desires yet too little time

if only we could buy one sec back with a dime

and Death comes in silence

and He causes fear

for we know our unfulfilled desires when our end is near

The Mended Textbook

It was just another busy afternoon for the kids at school. The bell rang and the exits of the school building were overflowing with students, ready to go home. They walked down the street with their half-eaten lunch boxes and backpacks stacked with books. He looked across the street, staring at the group of students passing by. They sure were noisy as hell, distracting him from studying. He looked back at his notebook scribbled with English words. English was his least favorite subject. It was so hard to understand, he definitely needs a tutor to teach him the differences between adverbs and adjectives. No. His parents wouldn’t let him get tutored. They surely won’t let him. He opened his English textbook again. The pages were quite torn apart, but he’d glued them back with Scotch tape. Maybe some rat found its way to his books and began chewing on them like there was no tomorrow. After all, their house was not the cleanest one in the neighborhood. His mom should start cleaning though.

The sun was setting when he woke up. He had found himself asleep, drooling on top of his notebook. He had a wonderful dream. He envisioned himself as a doctor, treating other patients with the utmost care; prescribing medicines with just the right dosage for them to be cured. Of course, being a doctor is a wealthy profession, but he understands some patients couldn’t even afford the check-up fee. He will agree to diagnose their health problems for free. He’ll be the greatest doctor in the whole wide world! Maybe people all over the world would go to him to be cured! Yes, that’s why English is so important! He needs to be able to use the global language so he can communicate with foreign patients. Surely, he won’t be able to diagnose any illnesses if he can’t understand the symptoms they’re describing, right? He wiped the saliva off his notebook and started writing again. Looking at the torn pages annoyed him. He was already out of Scotch tape and he has no money to buy a new one. That rat, he thought to himself. Someday, he’s gonna kill that pest so he won’t be able to do these mean things again! He noticed it was almost dark. He should light a candle so he can continue studying throughout the night.

Just then, there was a loud thud on the door. It must be his father. He’s a big giant; each step he takes shakes the whole house. He’s not the gentlest person either. He always slams the door so hard, it woke the neighbors. He has the loudest voice – as loud as thunder – so loud that even though it’s a bother, the neighbors do not complain at all. They were scared of the giant. He has always been scared of his father ever since he was little.

The door of his room was closed, yet he could hear him screaming. Get me some food, the giant shouted. Why, there was no food in the house! Not a single crumb. His father should know that, of all people, yet he still screamed and shouted, demanding. He can hear his footsteps approaching the door. It opened and there the giant figure was, reeking of a pungent smell so bad, he couldn’t stand it. Whatever his father ate must’ve made him violent and scary, like a monster. A witch must’ve turned him into one by tricking his father and poisoning him with whatever she gave him!

“You! Get me some food!”

He didn’t move an inch. He doesn’t know where to get one! He hasn’t even eaten anything since this morning.

His father eyed the textbook he was holding. “Give me that!” He held his textbook close, but his father, bigger and stronger than him, got hold of it and opened the torn book .

“Wasting your time with this?”

The little boy just stared at those big hands while they ripped the pages once mended with adhesive tape, now down to shreds.

“Get me some food! Now!”

His father walked away, while the pages left in the air, touched the ground ever so slightly, like feathers of a bird trapped in a cruel cage. The giant’s gone after one strong thud at the door once more, maybe off again to the witch’s house to eat more of that smelly poison.

The boy got up from where he was seated, and walked out of his room. His mom, beaten and bruised at one corner of the room, held a bottle of pills. Mom, he thought to himself, I’m sure you’re taking too much, it’s making you sick. I’ll be a good doctor for you someday.

If only he could only easily kill that rat who tore his books to pieces.

If only that giant was just a rat…

Incomplete Quests

When I was a loyal gamer of Iruna and Toram Online, MMORPG mobile games, there were some quests in the game to achieve experiences or gold so your character would get stronger and richer to buy new weapons or armors.

Each quest was rewarding at that time because it gave me content and joy as I watched my character grow, but looking back at it, it seemed like I just wasted precious time of my life doing those quests. I skipped meals. I skipped sleep. I skipped quality time with friends.

Now, I’m over that. It’s history to me. I decided to change those in-game quests to real life quests. Recently, my boyfriend and I decided to complete a twelve-drink stamp card for a 2019 Planner from Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf cafe. That’s our go-to cafe as a couple. That planner was originally shared as a couple but I think I’m the only one writing on it. No harm done though. I like planning things, and planning for him. I’m his secretary! One thing that I just don’t like is when I see those boxes besides my to-do quests unchecked.

Clean the shoe rack. Go to the doctor. Scrub the toilet. Things undone. When I played those MMORPGs, I never skipped any quest. I put my whole heart into it. Now, why can’t I do the same for those real tasks I really needed to do?  Is it because playing games is much simpler since it’s just a one sec click away?

The good thing about my to-do quests now is it’s real. I do get a real reward from it. Say, if I go to the doctor and get my check up done since I’ve been feeling Urinary Tract Infection symptoms on and off, then it’s a real reward because it has a real good influence on myself – the real me – instead of an in-game character! However, it’s a challenge to do the things you really planned for such a long time. It’s a challenge to beat procrastination. I should’ve gone to the doctor last Saturday, but I missed it, and now, I’d have to wait for the weekends again.

Maybe something’s missing: a goal. You’d like your character to level up? Then grind for experience! You want to buy this armor or weapon? Go sign up for quests for gold! You want to experience those UTI symptoms again? No, right? Then get your ass up to the doctor’s clinic immediately!

My First Valentine

First of all, happy valentines day to everyone, and yes, even singles deserve to be loved on valentines day!

Back when I was a kid, my parents have told us the “25-year-old rule”. It’s a stupid rule that says we can only have boyfriends and girlfriends once we become twenty-five-year-olds. Now here I am at twenty-two, living and loving my life with my boyfriend, Kael, and how joyful it is to receive your very first rose in February.

Valentines day was such an awkward day for me when I was in school. People would be so fired up. Some expect to receive a box of chocolate or a bouquet, or even a cute bear. Some expect to be accepted once they confess only to get rejected. Some of them expect to get their wallets emptied at the end of the day after a luxurious meal in one of those five-star restaurants. I was none of them. Valentines was an ordinary day for me, and I joined the other singles who teased other couples, saying “You’ll break up in the future!” or “There’s no forever!” and teasing ourselves as well, telling how bitter we were.

I had low self-esteem before and felt I was below average. No one really showed interest and the way I was raised, the thought of valentines was disgusting for me as it was too cheesy or too romantic, and my parents despised that kind of thought – as long as we’re below 25.

Now that I’m twenty-two and somehow broke my parents’ chains, I received my very first rose. I was thankful it was a rose, else it was a bouquet, I would be terribly overwhelmed. No one has ever given me a rose or a flower romantically. There was nothing special in how he handed it to me. I was waiting in my company’s pantry during lunch break and he was running late as usual. I felt a pat in the back and he handed me the rose that he just bought on his way to work (I later learned that he brought his big bag with him so he could hide it inside, but the rose was obviously taller). My guy likes giving presents romantically, like that day when he gave me a promise ring (which was an epic fail, by the way), and today was just different. He handed me the rose the way he’d hand me a sandwich for lunch.

And yet, I still felt weird. I didn’t know how to react. I’d kiss him and say thank you and hold hands with him the way I usually do, but I felt silent in the elevator as we go down the building to grab lunch. He asked me “why?” and I asked myself the same question, too. Why? Was it because it was my first time to receive a present like this on Valentines day?

I think I just realized that getting something nice during events like this, such as a piece of jewelry, or a box of chocolates, or a one-stemmed rose was something to be happy about. I always held myself back from being too romantic or too cheesy because my parents taught us not to act that way. It’s okay to hope or to expect something, and maybe if I get nothing, then I’d be okay because it has always been that way, but it’s still okay to believe I might get something, even the cheapest rose they sell in the store.

Tonight, after I finish this post, I’ll be going back home. I might see other girls clutching a bouquet or a bear, or holding their boyfriend’s hand. I’ll be one of them, too.